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Cavan: The Wild West of Eire

Mowl

Member
Val has taken to posting videos several times a day about all manner of boring fucking shite. He bought new wellingtons yesterday and today he's having buyer's regret. He also explains how to mix and match old wellingtons where, if one bursts, he can use another boot from another pair.

Val's main regret is spending any money at all, because like Youngdan, paying for things makes him sick to the back teeth. Can't bear with parting with money for anything bar petrol for their poisonous old 'vehickles' and tractors. Two smelly old men living like Scrooge and publicly proud of it.

These two old farts are currently the vanguard of Irish blogging.

Think about that for a minute?

Val also says he no time for pleasantries in the local shops and is far too busy talking to himself online to curb his massive ego and over-estimated sense of importance. In fact, Val's ego has finally gotten the better of his basic common sense (if he ever had any) and he's now going to post umpteen videos a day to stay all smug and self satisfied with his toothless old self.

Perhaps if he said good morning or hello to a dentist we might change our minds about his tightness and unwillingness to spend any of the free money he gets from the Irish state for shoveling shite.

The stinky old crone.

 

Mowl

Member
Val's torture chamber: he catches you on his land and captures you with the handcuffs and then cuffs you to the bars in the de-horner, then starts rabbiting on and on is his droll culchie accent until your eyes start to bleed and your ears attempt to grow skin over them to lessen the amount of stupid you're subjected to.

I doubt there's an animal on Val's farm he hasn't either fucked or had his entire arm up its arse.

No wonder he's a mod on Arsefield's.
 

DS86DS

Member
Administrator
Dehorning is legalised torture which needs to be done away with.

Farmers are such evil bastards.
 

Mowl

Member
One needs a strong stomach and a heart of steel for that sort of carry on.

Val was born for it, the shite shoveling old toothless fucker.
 

DS86DS

Member
Administrator
Visiting a large city such as London, Paris, Tokyo or New York for Val must be the equivalent of what a visit to Mars or Jupiter would be like for us normal humans.
 

DS86DS

Member
Administrator
... Particularly Tokyo. Going so much as a few days without Supermac's, Tayto crisps, TK Red Lemonade and ham sandwiches must be Val's idea of hell on earth.
 

Mowl

Member
I doubt the old fool even has a passport.

He's too tight to spring for one - as is evidenced by the last seven months of his toothfullness.




That's Val's idea of a nice day out with the family, spreading the slurry with proud smile on his fat face.

Then coming home stinking and the lot of the Martin family hopping into the bath to wash each other down and remove the bigger chunks of shite off each other. Then a nice cat-pie surprise for supper.


 

DS86DS

Member
Administrator
Being Val's underwear is rough going I'd imagine, certainly not an undertaking for the faint-hearted pair of boxers.
 

Mowl

Member
Val losing it over Sinn Fein's policies up north.

Maybe the lads in Sinn Fein might consider adopting Dan's approach and giving Val a 'visit'?

 

Mowl

Member
His current state of mind and his threats of violence towards Declan Kearney of Sinn Fein seem extreme to say the least. So I posted to Mr Kearney's site regarding Val's upload material and his location details. This way Val can meet Mr Kearney personally to say what he wants to say.

He might have to rein in the threats though, he's been barred for this type of thing many times before.

Val thinks the rules are only for the little people.

Perhaps it's those big shovel-like hands of his makes him think he's a bigger man?


 

DS86DS

Member
Administrator
Think Val might be looking for enemies in the wrong places, more so given his history as a copper and proximity to the border.

Though Val is probably too thick to realise it.
 

DS86DS

Member
Administrator
Ok, I'm always one for laughing at Val's clown car antics... but I think someone seriously needs to have a word in his ear, telling him to cop on with himself. He's about to make some potentially very dangerous enemies.

If Val knows what's good for him, he'd withdraw those threats and make an apology.
 

roc_abilly

Member
Ok, I'm always one for laughing at Val's clown car antics... but I think someone seriously needs to have a word in his ear, telling him to cop on with himself. He's about to make some potentially very dangerous enemies.

If Val knows what's good for him, he'd withdraw those threats and make an apology.
Ah, I'd leave him at it. Apparently Val is as good with guns, and as well armed, as anyone from Sinn Fein. Well that's the impression he gave in previous posts. Check out the gun thread on Sarsfields. Also check out what he regularly does to pigs, that rivals anything the SF goons ever did to anyone with a pliers. Val sounds like he will be a good match for them. ;)
 

Mowl

Member
He's set himself up for a fall here. I had a message back from Kearney on Facebook last evening that he was looking at the video content and would decide on a course of action later and on his own terms. He did say thank you for the heads up though.

Val's just one man. He's not well mentally, hasn't been for a long, long time. His entire head is upside his arse from his malevolent posts on youtube. He's delusional as to how this is going to pan out for him. In many ways, I hope a few lads do call by his house and let themselves in for a cup of 'tay' in his filthy little hovel.

He needs to keep his Flintlock polished and oiled.

His mouth (AKA Blunderbuss) needs to be sealed shut before someone takes the rest of his teeth out with that same pliers.

The man is nuts - completely barmy at this stage.

His mouth's going to walk him off a long plank.

And sure of course we saw it coming: I've been telling him to get in the sea for yonks.
 

Mowl

Member
So it turns out that Val's a believer.


In ten years from now he'll be long in the ground, and he won't be missed, the big fat mouthy twat.
 

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